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For us, like most I think, you can't factor in vehicle - we'd need 2 even if my wife didn't work.
And the take home of a $50K a year job still outweighs that of daycare/montessori/what ever you want to believe in. We have 1 child in montessori and one in after and before school at a home. After they are both paid, there still is a significant paycheck coming in.
Even if it was a wash - for my wife, who is a pediatric physiotherapist, for her to stay out of the work force for 3-5 years would make it extremely difficult to re-enter and have relevant skills. Methodology changes and training is constant in her field.
There are big tax write off's for the lower of the two income earners in a household if you are paying for care - that also add's to the benefits. You cannot claim care if you have one stay at home parent, unless in specific, unique situations.
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